Advice
Parental Quandary
Parenting is tough, and sometimes crowd-sourcing helps. Periodically, we pose a question to the Motherlode community. When the topic strikes a chord, we gather the best responses the following week. Got a quandary? E-mail KJ ?.
A newly working parent wrote me with a dilemma. At the very beginning of a post-graduate-school career, the family?s bread-winner (for now) and the parent of an 18-month-old, this parent is facing the fact that to really excel at work, travel will be required. Not short jaunts to nearby cities, but longer trips, three to six weeks at a time, to developing countries. Taking a spouse and child along is not an option.
?I am doing exactly what I want to be doing, and it is very rewarding,? the parent writes. But the travel is a weight. It?s optional ? the company, the parent writes, has a policy that no one need travel who doesn?t wish to do so. ?I can opt out and not lose my job, but it might hurt my career. I like my job, and I?m ambitious, but I don?t want to sacrifice my family?s happiness and comfort.
?How much away time can children handle at this age? I?m afraid my child will feel abandoned. My spouse will bear the brunt of child-rearing. And I don?t know how I will deal without seeing them. But maybe it will actually be easier for my child if I start doing the business trips now.?
The writer is no fool, and knows Motherlode readers can?t ?solve? this or provide a definitive answer. But could ?been there, done that? parents provide some advice and perspective? ?I would just love to hear some thoughts of parents who travel for work, particularly for long times or to faraway places.?
Help a fellow reader out? And ? you?re right. The writer asked for anonymity, and in providing it, I?ve removed any reference to whether this is a father or a mother asking. Which raises another interesting question: does it matter?
Source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/04/a-parents-business-travel-how-long-is-too-long/
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